


and thick and fast they came at last

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Parody, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 18:51:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14243607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Unbeknownst to Steven, his guardians get up to all sorts of freaky stuff when he's not around.





	and thick and fast they came at last

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to a thread on fail_fandomanon
> 
> <https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/309310.html?thread=1764066622#cmt1764066622>

“The time has come,” Garnet said,  
“To talk of many things:  
Of vibrators and candle wax,  
Of ginger root that stings,  
And all the possibilities  
That come with shapeshifting!” 

“But wait a moment!” Pearl did cry,  
“Before we can begin,  
We must ensure he is asleep,  
Our darling boy Steven!”  
“Yeah, let’s not disturb the kid,”  
Said Amethyst with a grin. 

Once she had made quite certain  
That the boy slept in his bed,  
The fusion winked her leftmost eye,  
“All clear!” was what she said.  
“Let’s get it on!” said Amethyst,  
Her legs she then did spread. 

“Is it all here?” queried Pearl,  
“The dildos and the lube?”  
“Yes, they’re all here,” Garnet replied,  
“And other fun things too.  
Now if you’re ready, Crystal Gems,  
We can begin to screw!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a parody of ["The Walrus and the Carpenter"](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43914/the-walrus-and-the-carpenter-56d222cbc80a9) by Lewis Carroll. The title comes from this particular verse:
> 
> _Four other Oysters followed them,_  
>  _And yet another four;_  
>  _And thick and fast they came at last,_  
>  _And more, and more, and more —_  
>  _All hopping through the frothy waves,_  
>  _And scrambling to the shore._
> 
> Sounds kinda dirty when taken out of context, doesn’t it? ;)


End file.
